17 QUESTIONS

Where is my poetry?
Being felt

Where are my songs?
Being cried

Where is my Love?
Flowing freely

Where are my rhymes?
Dancing

Where is my hope?
Everyhwere

What is my truth?
God

What is my choice?
This

When is my time?
Now



ANNEX (inversion)



Where is my junkie?
Cradled in the arms of God

Where are my drugs?
Gone

What are my cravings?
Discipline enhancers

How is my addiction?
Tired

And my resentment?
Abandoned

My fear?
Disengaged

Where is the danger?
Unenvisioned

And what of the predator?
Dead

And the victim?
Well, she was in my head,
but has been evicted.

The time of harm inflicted has passed,
the infected mass removed
afflicted thoughts, improved
Relieved, I grieve through the difference,
and kiss the joyful, crying eyes of my Essence
who smiles and sings as any freshly freed prisoner would.

No More Monkeys (thumping on my head)

God's on my back,
All ways with the Light...
Grandmothers say
'Unscrew your thinking cap
lighten that head up,
unenvision the shitstack
sights up sugar pup'

Frightened of heart,
the hardest part of humanity,
is the shear insanity of a foe
so false as fear,
I'm feeling nearer to it
than love, and hardly here.

Oh, but I see a new Me over there,
big frizzy hair, and not a care in the world,
I'm talking to a little girl
I whirl her thru the air,
she wraps around me,
surrounds me with her youth,
and child's truth....
re-mind-ing me that One
wishes us to know fun
and laughter...
I'm dusting off
and shining up my magic staff,
enforcing Love's law
in this life of ever-awe,
soberly ever after~

Starvation (salvation)

My sweet, sick love is bound
thru strangling red wire nets
reach swollen diamonds of tearing flesh
writhing quaking
she eats her lips to mute the hunger
shaking, seething
ravenous prisoner of mine
I have not fed her for days
I have nothing for her anymore
She won't survive much longer

Wailing rabid fell beast
musters remnants of wrath
large creamy jagged teeth and nails
she charges at me
set for a swift kill
to avenge my betrayal

Her strength is near my own
yet not,
starvation stifles pain's inertia
no lies to suck
no drug to push her into blinding
I will her into light
dissolve her legacy of horror
and starve her back to love
my sick and only ever-friend
To her I sing 'this is the end.'

THE HI-JACKER

Hello lie, you dazzler. Come into me....

Your friends are here, as is your god, the Hi-jacker.

I know him well, yet he knows me better.

How loyal and dutiful I have been,

heeding his every demand,

praising his fallacies,

raising his phallus 

into my submission...

he fills me with acridity,

to burn away my love.

ANNEX

My hi-jacker

lays down his gun while I sleep,

and each morning,

I wake to his barrel at my temple.

My mini-God stands erect,
centered in my 3rd eye view,
hands folded behind his back,
sometimes pacing,
he does not face me,
he's seems to be looking
dreamingly elsewhere,
he knows how to get there.

He is waiting to move...

patient and misplaced.

He is as reliable as
my Hi-jacker and the gun,

and so I wake another day

to check to see if he has come,

or gone away.

WHITE

Now is the worst awesomeness,

most excellent torture,

a harrowing soothing...

In this radiant darkness

shines the heaviest blessing

scaring us to inspiration...

The strength of God,

can be dizzying.


ANNEX-


Cease persisting twisting life,

wrung from existence- healer's strife,

and so, hung, then cut by knife,

slung over the lap of the King, 

his wife, his Queen,
to her, he sings one last good-night
beneath the crushing cold moon's light

Her old and golden flesh,
dead white, 

the blood has left her now,

such fright to think of how
he'd find her...

She'd break his heart,

don't remind her.

GOOD MOTHER (Kamutino, revised)

Arranging rage to gauge despair,

a lock of broken, silver hair,

a curse spell in a temptress' stare,

I go within to be nowhere

The rock within a looking glass,

the kind of love to kick your ass

the kind of truth to set you free

the kind of hate to keep you captive...

such thoughts and words of frantic noise,
if it's not God, then it's boys,

if it's not real, is it not

the truth you remembered,
you thought you forgot?
The ego, dismembered, 

is still a lot to carry,

when it's all that you've got.

Thank you my friends,

my stardust tribe,

if love was a statue

I would inscribe such truth unto you-

"You're handsome, you're true,

as strong as Grandmother,

as sturdy as blue"

Your hands are the tools by which pleasure is carved,

your kiss, the food and the drink of the starved,

the sight of your eyes, 

an eternal ravine,

with breadth and deep breath

in a sigh, so serene,

as I gaze through windows,

you are the seen,

the promise of yellow,
the power of green,

I'm pregnant with Purple,

you know what I mean....

Each day I choose, and find you, the One,

I wake to partake in the work and the fun,

we've laughed out a cosmos, and only begun

to sit in reflection, sisters so long,

the drum brings to voice

Good Mother's song,

the heron and leopard

have known all along,

This traveler has will,

blessed with animal skill,

she learns not to kill,

but to build,

to disperse and to wield,

to splatter thought matter 

through poetry fields,

climb the great ladder

stand with the bull,

howl at your brother, the moon, 

white and full,

give grace to Other

with Good Mother's song, 

The Healer's chant, words of true men,

to sing and be heard, then forgotten again,

but still to have healed, 

though most unbeknownst,

few have presence in moments of instance,

observing as if from such a great distance,

the word goes unheard- 

and suddenly isn't.

And the story of Earth becomes such a tale,

as tall as a mountain, as deep as a whale,

thousands of fathoms of feelings of real,

sheaths upon seeds of truth, 

so we peel, and we peel to the center,
daring enter,
to find there, plenty,
free of calamitous madness of money,
here in the clear,
there are both milk and honey,
(and cinnamon too)...

This seamless life dream,
gives a good taste of You~

(July, 2012)

KOA

*(KOA is an acronym/term I coined about a year ago, when I noted the coming energetic of the Alpha to my Omega. It makes a pair with QOA, which stands for Queen of Awesome. This is a title that came for me when I conquered a daunting process/challenge around the same time. So, KOA is the King of Awesome.) 




~For each blessing you have brought to me,

be blessed,

With as much light as you have shown upon me,

be lit,

For every knowing gaze and glance,

be seen and known,

And with as much abundance as you have given love,

be loved.

Now, take your throne.

My friend, and King,

this union is a sacred thing

bound by heart,

not by ring,

we know the kiss 

for which lips sing~


ANNEX-

~What, for your light, will I not burn or bury,

What, for your life, will I not pray into you,

What, for your love, will I not know as pain?

From whom, for your honor, will I reserve my lips,

and how, for your sex,

shall I display these swollen hips of mine?

What of my demure behind?

Are you so inclined to thrill me,

you must first softly kill me in this slow and lavish style?

My death is divine,
I crawl, and weep your song for miles,

for nights, then moons across years, 

white lotus' bloom along my trail of tears~

"the white lotus is the most revered in the world, and is known as the 'Womb of the world'. It is said to denote the purity of mind (Bodhi), the calmness and serenity of human nature, and spiritual perfection."

NINE TINY EXCERPTS

~I am the tender woman who woke up

to both the great love and the great pain.
Of both, I sing a sweet refrain~

~My demise is up to me. 
Don't tell me I must do anything, ever. 
I know better. 
I will be here, loving you, 
until and beyond my death, 
regardless of everything
I promise nothing, as proof~



~I saw you, and loved my God~


~To place big bets on jokers faces, 
and see about men, empty spaces,
I dare not tread among the dead of heart~


~It feels to me like punishment, 
and begs the question-
'what have I done to deserve it?' 
Yet, I know what I have done 
by what's been done to me. 
It is my choice 
to learn by feel, 
to realize the terror of abuse.
Others have said, and I agree,
I must be stopped!~


~Designed to act from intuition,

in a world that calls me false.

Much faith is required, 

and I am full of it...

Faith; a marriage of love and courage,

From this quintessence seeps bliss.

In and as it's contrast,

I writhe, fettered by doubt.

I have a choice in every moment,

the gamble is a life-time~

~One thousand points of patience, 

like acupuncture pins,

pierce decrepit leathered encasings, 

swaddling my denied Gods,

set back, and down 

out of light,

nearer hell than anywhere,

an elaborate purgatory I built 

for me and my desired ones,

for us to have a place to 

be together, always~

~The road ahead seemed glum,

and each absurd word from my mouth

seemed just so dumb,

trying to impart 
the serenata of my heart~

~And then there are my addictions....I am good at those!~